July 26, 2006 - The O'Reilly Energy Plan:  A 10,000 amp generator and 300 gallons of gas in every home
Here’s Bill looking out for you during Monday night’s show:

T
he Most Ridiculous Item of the Day

Out in Astoria, Queens, in New York City, thousands of folks have not had power for more
than a week because it was hot for a few days. New York Mayor Bloomberg says, "It is
what it is."

Well, what it is, Mr. Mayor, is massive incompetence.

And we're also seeing power problems in St. Louis and other parts of the country. This is
America's Achilles heel: the power grid. It is vulnerable to just about everything.

Now I recently bought a generator. If you can, you should, too. The power situation is going
to get worse in the USA.

That's not only ridiculous, it is dangerous.

Okay, listen, you big pussy. It’s only dangerous to your viewers because they’re all over 90.
Sure, it’s hot out. But most people can go without air conditioning for a few days. Let’s make
sure we take care of our elderly first and then let the chips fall where they may. Maybe people
could actually consider using less energy for once. Seriously, is the answer really spewing
more greenhouse gases into the atmosphere so you can keep your Yoo-hoo chilled while
IMing your interns after Maureen has gone to bed?

Let’s just take a look at this generator option, shall we? In addition to buying a generator, you
better consider installing underground fuel tanks, because you’re gonna need a lot of gas.
Here’s one
generator you could buy for around 2,300 bucks.

Its seven-gallon tank provides “8.1 hours of run time at half load and 4.2 hours at full load.”

Bill’s got a big house, so let’s assume full load. So in a weeklong blackout, Bill will need to
have almost 300 gallons of gas on hand to get through unscathed, considering that gas
pumps run on electricity and will be out of commission.

He might as well take a Carnival cruise and stay in his cabin all week; it really wouldn’t be that
much more expensive. Plus, his wife wouldn’t have to yell at Spencer every three minutes for
playing too close to the fuel drums.

You know, it may be time to start offering signature WWBD? bracelets. He is as close to a
reverse barometer as you’ll ever find.
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