 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
October 17, 2006 - O'Reilly goes after Oprah (find the biggest boob)
Last night on The Factor, Bill was kvetching like a kid at a D&D all-nighter who couldn’t find a
date for the prom.
In a segment titled “Is Oprah Fair and Balanced,” Bill basically spent the entire time whining that
Frank Rich got invited on Oprah and he didn’t.
That was the theme. Make no mistake about it. Bill couldn’t handle the fact that his S-P rival was
getting cooed over by millions of 42-year-old chicks in unfashionable sweatpants.
Of course, he tried to make it less about him and more about Oprah’s liberal-leaning ways:
“Her daytime talk program is a launch pad for books, movies, TV shows, and records. Most
who appear on Ms. Winfrey's show benefit from the experience greatly. But an analysis of the
programs shows that liberal guests far outnumber conservatives and traditionalists in the
arena.
“We can only find four traditional guests in the past four years. Four. President Bush, Rudy
Giuliani, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mel Gibson.
“On the other side, there are literally dozens of liberal people who have been given a forum on
Oprah's program. Just last week, Bush hater Frank Rich was given an hour to pontificate, one
hour. I had no idea Mr. Rich was so popular among daytime viewers.
“Also on Oprah's show, Michael Moore, Jane Fonda, Susan Sarandon, Al Gore, Barbra
Streisand, Sean Penn, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Jon Stewart, George Clooney, Jim
McGreevey, on and on and on. You got three weeks? I can keep listing them.
“In the interest of full disclosure, Oprah has declined to interview me, even though I had four
No. 1 best selling books, including the current one, Culture Warrior.
“Once The O'Reilly Factor for Kids, it really confused me. Here we have the best selling
children's non-fiction book in 2005. “Oprah, as you know, is interested in protecting kids, so
why then was there no interest in talking about The Factor for Kids?
“Now you call it sour grapes if you want. I know I'm going to get those kind of letters, but facts
are facts.”
Bill, didn’t anyone tell you? The O’Reilly Factor for Kids was the worst book in the history of paper.
If she’d let you plug that piece of shit, she’d have had to apologize more profusely than she did
over the James Frey/A Million Little Pieces thing.
O’Reilly also brought his favorite parrot, Michelle Malkin, on to create the illusion that others were
talking about Oprah’s unfairness too, and that it wasn’t just Bill’s bruised ego that was in play.
MALKIN: And I think that, as you say, she can—she can invite anyone she wants to, but I think
she risks alienating a large portion of the daytime audience. There are millions of stay-at-
home moms who watch her show who don't agree that Frank Rich is the greatest thing since
sliced bread.
Yes, when the history of daytime talk shows is written, the Frank Rich appearance will be pointed
to as Oprah’s Waterloo. It will be known as the day the Oprah empire began to crumble—and the
moment Greg Behrendt began his long ascendancy.
Bill responded: “No, I was shocked about this. Look, I can understand George Clooney and
Barbra Streisand and these entertainers. But believe me, take a look at this face. Is this what
American women want for an hour? All right? The guy hates Bush. He hates everything he's
ever done. He hates me. He hates you. He hates anybody who disagrees with him, and this
guy gets an hour. I mean, I'm sitting there going, what is this?”
Look at his face? Bill, what the fuck are you talking about? The only woman who would want you
on her show is Elvira. We can only assume you either haven’t checked your mirror lately or can’t
find your refection in it.
“But shouldn't—in the interest of being fair and balanced, shouldn't she say, ‘Gee, you know, I
do tilt left and I'd rather bring you these kind of guests than, say, John Stossel, best seller
author. Hasn't been on the program, can't get on the program. Pat Buchanan has got a best-
selling book now, can't get on the program. Laura Ingraham, she wrote about all the movie
stars...’”
Bill, Oprah knows what she’s doing. Having guests like you, Pat Buchanan and John Stossel on
her program would simply be irresponsible. You boys are just too damn sexy for daytime.
George Clooney is one thing, but how you gonna keep ‘em down on the farm after they’ve seen
John Stossel?
date for the prom.
In a segment titled “Is Oprah Fair and Balanced,” Bill basically spent the entire time whining that
Frank Rich got invited on Oprah and he didn’t.
That was the theme. Make no mistake about it. Bill couldn’t handle the fact that his S-P rival was
getting cooed over by millions of 42-year-old chicks in unfashionable sweatpants.
Of course, he tried to make it less about him and more about Oprah’s liberal-leaning ways:
“Her daytime talk program is a launch pad for books, movies, TV shows, and records. Most
who appear on Ms. Winfrey's show benefit from the experience greatly. But an analysis of the
programs shows that liberal guests far outnumber conservatives and traditionalists in the
arena.
“We can only find four traditional guests in the past four years. Four. President Bush, Rudy
Giuliani, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mel Gibson.
“On the other side, there are literally dozens of liberal people who have been given a forum on
Oprah's program. Just last week, Bush hater Frank Rich was given an hour to pontificate, one
hour. I had no idea Mr. Rich was so popular among daytime viewers.
“Also on Oprah's show, Michael Moore, Jane Fonda, Susan Sarandon, Al Gore, Barbra
Streisand, Sean Penn, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Jon Stewart, George Clooney, Jim
McGreevey, on and on and on. You got three weeks? I can keep listing them.
“In the interest of full disclosure, Oprah has declined to interview me, even though I had four
No. 1 best selling books, including the current one, Culture Warrior.
“Once The O'Reilly Factor for Kids, it really confused me. Here we have the best selling
children's non-fiction book in 2005. “Oprah, as you know, is interested in protecting kids, so
why then was there no interest in talking about The Factor for Kids?
“Now you call it sour grapes if you want. I know I'm going to get those kind of letters, but facts
are facts.”
Bill, didn’t anyone tell you? The O’Reilly Factor for Kids was the worst book in the history of paper.
If she’d let you plug that piece of shit, she’d have had to apologize more profusely than she did
over the James Frey/A Million Little Pieces thing.
O’Reilly also brought his favorite parrot, Michelle Malkin, on to create the illusion that others were
talking about Oprah’s unfairness too, and that it wasn’t just Bill’s bruised ego that was in play.
MALKIN: And I think that, as you say, she can—she can invite anyone she wants to, but I think
she risks alienating a large portion of the daytime audience. There are millions of stay-at-
home moms who watch her show who don't agree that Frank Rich is the greatest thing since
sliced bread.
Yes, when the history of daytime talk shows is written, the Frank Rich appearance will be pointed
to as Oprah’s Waterloo. It will be known as the day the Oprah empire began to crumble—and the
moment Greg Behrendt began his long ascendancy.
Bill responded: “No, I was shocked about this. Look, I can understand George Clooney and
Barbra Streisand and these entertainers. But believe me, take a look at this face. Is this what
American women want for an hour? All right? The guy hates Bush. He hates everything he's
ever done. He hates me. He hates you. He hates anybody who disagrees with him, and this
guy gets an hour. I mean, I'm sitting there going, what is this?”
Look at his face? Bill, what the fuck are you talking about? The only woman who would want you
on her show is Elvira. We can only assume you either haven’t checked your mirror lately or can’t
find your refection in it.
“But shouldn't—in the interest of being fair and balanced, shouldn't she say, ‘Gee, you know, I
do tilt left and I'd rather bring you these kind of guests than, say, John Stossel, best seller
author. Hasn't been on the program, can't get on the program. Pat Buchanan has got a best-
selling book now, can't get on the program. Laura Ingraham, she wrote about all the movie
stars...’”
Bill, Oprah knows what she’s doing. Having guests like you, Pat Buchanan and John Stossel on
her program would simply be irresponsible. You boys are just too damn sexy for daytime.
George Clooney is one thing, but how you gonna keep ‘em down on the farm after they’ve seen
John Stossel?
Go to Main Menu