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October 27, 2006 - O'Reilly gets one-upped by The Bowler
The next time you're watching Fox, only to
be confronted with Bill O’Reilly mocking
Hollywood celebrities for their baseless
political opinions, remember this:
Back on March 7, 2003, these words of
wisdom came from Janeane Garofalo
during an appearance on The Factor:
"If we invade Iraq, there's a United
Nations estimate that says there will be
up to a half a million people killed or
wounded. Do we have a right to do that
to a country that's done nothing to us?"
be confronted with Bill O’Reilly mocking
Hollywood celebrities for their baseless
political opinions, remember this:
Back on March 7, 2003, these words of
wisdom came from Janeane Garofalo
during an appearance on The Factor:
"If we invade Iraq, there's a United
Nations estimate that says there will be
up to a half a million people killed or
wounded. Do we have a right to do that
to a country that's done nothing to us?"
After much debate and general discounting of Garofalo's views, O’Reilly concluded the interview with
this:
"Now last question. If you are wrong, all right, and if the United States—and they will—this is going
to happen—goes in, liberates Iraq, people in the street, American flags, hugging our soldiers, all
right, we find all kinds of bad, bad stuff, all right, in Iraq, are you going to apologize to George W.
Bush?"
GAROFALO: "I will bring roses right to his front door. I will bring a fruitcake and roses. But let me
tell you something. What if you are wrong..."
O'REILLY: "Then I'll apologize."
GAROFALO: "What if—wait, wait. Let me lay out my scenario. What if hundreds and thousands of
Iraqis are killed? There's nobody thanking General Tommy Franks for the bombs, there's nobody
thanking anyone for..."
O'REILLY: "If it's a debacle, I'll be the first one to report it."
Now who was more on target? Fox's professor of Shut Up 101 or the chick from Reality Bites?
But in Bill's mind it was all over with by April 14. Yes, just five weeks later O'Reilly felt history had
spoken and he dutifully reported that Garofalo was reneging on her promise.
"Janeane Garofalo told us she has nothing to apologize for because she doesn't think that things
are going that well in Iraq. And most of the other dissenters echo that thought."
Those damn dissenters. Can't they see the war has been over for hours? Come on, it'll only be a few
more days before they start building the new Thank Allah It's Friday's and Michael Kors is designing
sensibly chic burqas for his spring ready-to-wear line.
O'Reilly just couldn't understand how Ms. Garofalo and other "dissenters" were denying that the war
was won:
"Now you can see, decide whether they're spinning, but here's some no-spin reality. The coalition
victory in Iraq has had a number of very positive repercussions. North Korea is now backing away
from its insistence it would only negotiate with the USA about nuclear weapons. Apparently that
regime will now talk with other countries as well."
How dare those liberals give their spin about the Iraq war not being over—especially when North Korea
is no longer a threat either?
But O'Reilly wouldn't let up, and later, on April 18, he ran video of the interview with Garofalo and said,
"There you go, ladies and gentlemen. There is history, OK? O'Reilly. Janeane should apologize. She
should."
On April 21, O'Reilly read this letter from level-headed viewer Wayne Johns of Oceanside, California,
"As for an apology for Janeane Garofalo, I think it should wait until after it can be shown that
America's actions have improved the region's stability."
Bill's response? "How about until they open a Kmart in Baghdad, you know? Geez."
Bill, why don't we at least wait until they stop beheading anyone who looks like they know what a Kmart
is?
Yeah, um, he still wasn't done. July 22, 2003. O'Reilly brought Ann Coulter into the No-Spin Zone to
discuss some of the "silly" things Garofalo had said:
COULTER: "This is the topic of my book, and she said a lot of very silly things, including, I think, on
your program. Her prediction that 500,000 would be killed in Iraq and—civilian casualties…."
O'REILLY: "Yes. She was wrong. Flat-out wrong."
On October 11, 2006, Reuters reported that researchers at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of
Public Health had just released a study on Iraqi casualties: "Researchers estimated that as a result of
the war, about 655,000 people in a country of about 27 million have died above the number expected to
have died without war…"
Now this study is controversial and the Bush administration certainly disputes it. Still, it goes to show
that Garofalo wasn't completely off base. And she was certainly far more on target than O'Reilly. Bill's
analysis of Middle Eastern foreign policy seems about useful as his thoughts on Middle Eastern food
and clitoral stimulation.
this:
"Now last question. If you are wrong, all right, and if the United States—and they will—this is going
to happen—goes in, liberates Iraq, people in the street, American flags, hugging our soldiers, all
right, we find all kinds of bad, bad stuff, all right, in Iraq, are you going to apologize to George W.
Bush?"
GAROFALO: "I will bring roses right to his front door. I will bring a fruitcake and roses. But let me
tell you something. What if you are wrong..."
O'REILLY: "Then I'll apologize."
GAROFALO: "What if—wait, wait. Let me lay out my scenario. What if hundreds and thousands of
Iraqis are killed? There's nobody thanking General Tommy Franks for the bombs, there's nobody
thanking anyone for..."
O'REILLY: "If it's a debacle, I'll be the first one to report it."
Now who was more on target? Fox's professor of Shut Up 101 or the chick from Reality Bites?
But in Bill's mind it was all over with by April 14. Yes, just five weeks later O'Reilly felt history had
spoken and he dutifully reported that Garofalo was reneging on her promise.
"Janeane Garofalo told us she has nothing to apologize for because she doesn't think that things
are going that well in Iraq. And most of the other dissenters echo that thought."
Those damn dissenters. Can't they see the war has been over for hours? Come on, it'll only be a few
more days before they start building the new Thank Allah It's Friday's and Michael Kors is designing
sensibly chic burqas for his spring ready-to-wear line.
O'Reilly just couldn't understand how Ms. Garofalo and other "dissenters" were denying that the war
was won:
"Now you can see, decide whether they're spinning, but here's some no-spin reality. The coalition
victory in Iraq has had a number of very positive repercussions. North Korea is now backing away
from its insistence it would only negotiate with the USA about nuclear weapons. Apparently that
regime will now talk with other countries as well."
How dare those liberals give their spin about the Iraq war not being over—especially when North Korea
is no longer a threat either?
But O'Reilly wouldn't let up, and later, on April 18, he ran video of the interview with Garofalo and said,
"There you go, ladies and gentlemen. There is history, OK? O'Reilly. Janeane should apologize. She
should."
On April 21, O'Reilly read this letter from level-headed viewer Wayne Johns of Oceanside, California,
"As for an apology for Janeane Garofalo, I think it should wait until after it can be shown that
America's actions have improved the region's stability."
Bill's response? "How about until they open a Kmart in Baghdad, you know? Geez."
Bill, why don't we at least wait until they stop beheading anyone who looks like they know what a Kmart
is?
Yeah, um, he still wasn't done. July 22, 2003. O'Reilly brought Ann Coulter into the No-Spin Zone to
discuss some of the "silly" things Garofalo had said:
COULTER: "This is the topic of my book, and she said a lot of very silly things, including, I think, on
your program. Her prediction that 500,000 would be killed in Iraq and—civilian casualties…."
O'REILLY: "Yes. She was wrong. Flat-out wrong."
On October 11, 2006, Reuters reported that researchers at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of
Public Health had just released a study on Iraqi casualties: "Researchers estimated that as a result of
the war, about 655,000 people in a country of about 27 million have died above the number expected to
have died without war…"
Now this study is controversial and the Bush administration certainly disputes it. Still, it goes to show
that Garofalo wasn't completely off base. And she was certainly far more on target than O'Reilly. Bill's
analysis of Middle Eastern foreign policy seems about useful as his thoughts on Middle Eastern food
and clitoral stimulation.
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